it’s the little things that writing this blog. the little things that we would most likely forget in the rush of everyday life. i was talking about this blog to a friend the other day.. i was gushing about it and how nice it is to go back and remember the things we did or how she said certain words, or her current fascinations of the moment. i paused for a moment after talking about how much work it is and thought, is it really that much work?
later i decided to read some of the posts and watch the accompanying videos. the blog is so sweet and is a nice time capsule of small moments in our lives that could easily be forgotten. i barely remember when cordelia talked like she does in this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqK0j84iM4Q#t=146 and it just made my heart burst.
i am going to try to commit to this blog again. not only for my memories, but for cordelia. i think it is something that she will really appreciate when she is a bit older. even now she loves to watch herself in videos from when she was little.
one of the things cordelia has been doing lately is breaking into the pantry in the morning and eating all the cookies. the final straw was one morning when i found her in bed, watching a movie on the phone, eating an entire package of fig newtons and cookie crisp cereal. she barely looked up when i walked in the room, unfazed by it all. i snapped a picture and grabbed up all the snacks, while explaining to her what a terrible choice it was. she smirked. (i could barely contain my smirk either) lol. do this day i still remember how i just wanted to laugh, but i didn’t want to validate her choices. the pantry now has a lock on it (we took one of the bathroom knobs and turned it backwards) i leave her a bowl of fruit (of her choice) with a cup of milk for the morning. she seems satisfied, but once in awhile i still find one of the kitchen stoles planted in front of the pantry door. i even caught her red handed a few weeks ago trying to reach the key that sits on the top of the trim of the door. she stopped and looked at me with the most guilty look on her face, ever. i thought it was hysterical. we laughed it off. even if she were able to reach the key she wouldn’t be able to unlock the door, hell i can barely unlock the door.
we told cordelia on christmas eve that she will soon get one of the things she has been asking for for the last 2 years, a real live baby! she was excited, but a bit confused when she opened the gift filled with a big sister book, picture frame and sonogram picture. who can blame her. we have had a tough year and she is fully aware… she told my mom just a few weeks before that “mama had a baby in her belly, but it was sick and she had to leave it at the hospital” yeah. completely and utterly gut wrenching. my poor child has wished for this wish for so long and we are finally able to give it to her.
over the past few days, i have been slowly allowing myself to accept that yes, this is real and yes, you are really having a baby. i have since purchased a few things for the baby and cordelia is just obsessed. i bought a mamaroo and cordelia puts her baby in it every morning (while she snacks on her fruit and milk). she says the baby loves it. i also bought some new swaddle blankets and had to purchase an extra one for cordelia’s baby, because she needs to be swaddled too. the excitement is real at our house and we cannot wait to meet our new addition to our family. we have wished for this baby for so long and are just over the moon about it. i was never one to really understand fertility issues until going through them on my own and all i can say is that i wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. it is a very lonely and confusing time. we are just so elated to finally be on the other side, not just for my sake, but for this sweet little girl who just hopes and wishes for a baby every second of every single day.
i am so excited to commit to this again.