getting back into the swing of things

it’s the little things that writing this blog. the little things that we would most likely forget in the rush of everyday life. i was talking about this blog to a friend the other day.. i was gushing about it and how nice it is to go back and remember the things we did or how she said certain words, or her current fascinations of the moment. i paused for a moment after talking about how much work it is and thought, is it really that much work?

later i decided to read some of the posts and watch the accompanying videos. the blog is so sweet and is a nice time capsule of small moments in our lives that could easily be forgotten. i barely remember when cordelia talked like she does in this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqK0j84iM4Q#t=146 and it just made my heart burst.

i am going to try to commit to this blog again. not only for my memories, but for cordelia. i think it is something that she will really appreciate when she is a bit older. even now she loves to watch herself in videos from when she was little.

one of the things cordelia has been doing lately is breaking into the pantry in the morning and eating all the cookies. the final straw was one morning when i found her in bed, watching a movie on the phone, eating an entire package of fig newtons and cookie crisp cereal. she barely looked up when i walked in the room, unfazed by it all. i snapped a picture and grabbed up all the snacks, while explaining to her what a terrible choice it was. she smirked. (i could barely contain my smirk either) lol. do this day i still remember how i just wanted to laugh, but i didn’t want to validate her choices. the pantry now has a lock on it (we took one of the bathroom knobs and turned it backwards) i leave her a bowl of fruit (of her choice) with a cup of milk for the morning. she seems satisfied, but once in awhile i still find one of the kitchen stoles planted in front of the pantry door. i even caught her red handed a few weeks ago trying to reach the key that sits on the top of the trim of the door. she stopped and looked at me with the most guilty look on her face, ever. i thought it was hysterical. we laughed it off. even if she were able to reach the key she wouldn’t be able to unlock the door, hell i can barely unlock the door.

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we told cordelia on christmas eve that she will soon get one of the things she has been asking for for the last 2 years, a real live baby! she was excited, but a bit confused when she opened the gift filled with a big sister book, picture frame and sonogram picture. who can blame her. we have had a tough year and she is fully aware… she told my mom just a few weeks before that “mama had a baby in her belly, but it was sick and she had to leave it at the hospital” yeah. completely and utterly gut wrenching. my poor child has wished for this wish for so long and we are finally able to give it to her.

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over the past few days, i have been slowly allowing myself to accept that yes, this is real and yes, you are really having a baby. i have since purchased a few things for the baby and cordelia is just obsessed. i bought a mamaroo and cordelia puts her baby in it every morning (while she snacks on her fruit and milk). she says the baby loves it. i also bought some new swaddle blankets and had to purchase an extra one for cordelia’s baby, because she needs to be swaddled too. the excitement is real at our house and we cannot wait to meet our new addition to our family. we have wished for this baby for so long and are just over the moon about it. i was never one to really understand fertility issues until going through them on my own and all i can say is that i wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. it is a very lonely and confusing time. we are just so elated to finally be on the other side, not just for my sake, but for this sweet little girl who just hopes and wishes for a baby every second of every single day.

i am so excited to commit to this again.

xo

 

cordelia learns how to ride a 2 wheel bike

what an incredible weekend. i am so proud to announce that cordelia can now ride a two wheel bike, WITHOUT training wheels!!!

let’s just be honest, that this isn’t something that just happened, keith has been training with her for a long time now… she practices her balance on her strider and her pedaling on her real bike. they go up and down the hall in the house and train. he decided to take her outside yesterday and give it a try. he was holding onto the back of her seat and had a feeling if he let go she would be fine and he was right! it was amazing and such a huge milestone. she was so proud of herself. she beamed from ear to ear all weekend and last night when i was laying with her in bed and asking her questions about her day like we always do, i asked “what was your favorite thing you did this weekend?” she quickly replied “RIDING MY BIKE!!!!”

amazing, just amazing. she is constantly teaching me how to be a better person and if you put your mind to something, you can do it.

cordelia turns 3.

instantly, i knew i was in love when i laid my eyes on her. she is and will forever be, the love of my life. you are never quite aware of how much one little being can change you and everything that you know about life, until it happens.

she is the light of my life. each day she helps me find the humor {and the patience} that are sometimes needed to get through the day. like when she asks me “do you gotta go poop or pee?” especially when we are in the middle of a very public place, or like when we sing the “poop song” this is our song, our goofy {somewhat inappropriate} song about poop. {poop on the floor, poop on your hair, poop on the CHAIR!} as we erupt into laughter after each silly place that there is poop, or like when she gets up so very early, stands at the side of my bed and softly rubs my face and whispers “mama, i awake. i awake mama” and then i swoop her into bed for a long morning snuggle.

she has taught me how to be a better person. she has taught me how to be just a little bit more patient “mama stop rushin’ me” and she has taught me how to love like i never knew i could. i look at her and can’t even imagine what we did before her.

3 years went by in a blink. cordelia, you truly are my sunshine and you will always be my little baby doll.

i love you so, so very much. happy, happy birthday!!

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cordelia

c is getting so, so big. she will soon be transferring to the “pre-school” room at school, where they will start to learn phonics. Are you kidding me?? That’s insane.

We had such an amazing and busy few weeks. We spent the middle of october at disneyland and it was so fun, yet so exhausting. c loved riding all of the rides, watching the parades and saying hello to the characters. she also loved the fireworks, and swimming at the hotel. she told us she wanted to stay forever… we were ready to come home though. lol

we finally picked a color for c’s room and painted it this weekend. for the past 6 months it has been a camouflage of colors, i ended up going with boring grey, but it looks so great. we love it.

c is getting such a sense of humor. she is always telling funny jokes, making up funny songs and talking about poop. she thinks poop is utterly hilarious, and how can you blame her? it is.

she has been calling keith, keith lately and although he HATES it, i think it is hilarious and i egg her on. this weekend she told him “keith, STOP TALKING TO ME!” and then later she said “no, don’t touch me keith!” such attitude, so early, that can’t be good. also, she is a champion nose picker, she even does the double nose pick. again, i think it’s kind of funny and keith is always telling her to stop. oh well, she won’t pick her nose forever, right? wink wink.

cordelia’s first bmx race

today, while driving home from c’s first BMX race, my brain flashed forward 15 years. c was graduating from high school and the video at her party started with the race we had just experienced. me screaming like a crazy lady “go cordelia go!!!! go fast cordelia!!!!!” with the camera firmly in hand and keith wobbling behind her like a little duck, his arms teetering on each side of her making sure she wouldn’t fall, pushing her up the big hills she couldn’t quite make up herself.

i have to admit that i almost cried.

that was when i really realized that THIS, THIS is what being a parent is. watching her grow as a person, learn new things and push herself to try things, interesting things, as you watch scared as hell, but proud as can be as you beam from the sidelines.

honestly, it was the most amazing thing to watch her push herself. “mama i wanta trophy!” and she did get a trophy. {even though there were only 2 racers in her class and she got 2nd..} she felt like she had just conquered the world.

last night it was even more special when i went in to tuck her into bed, and her trophy was laying next to her, one of her arms gently laying over it.

we just love her and adore her so very much. she is so incredibly special to us.

{this amazing little girl has forever changed us}

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updates

if seems as though c is growing right before my eyes. i mean, i totally get it that she is getting bigger every day, but it has become so apparent just this past week.

cordelia is so CHATTY, she talks a lot {she must get it from me} and she sings songs constantly. if she isn’t talking, she is singing and if she isn’t singing she is sleeping. she probably sings in her sleep too :P

i sneak in her room every night before keith and i head off to bed… i quietly tip toe in to cover her up, sometimes move her {she sleeps like a crazy kid} and give her a kiss. we recently got a side railing for her bed because she kept telling us that she was falling out of bed in the middle of the night. so, last night i go in to do my regular routine, and thank god i did. she was hanging precariously on the edge of the bed. one foot propped up on her head board and the other dangling about 6 inches from the ground. i hurried back to the bedroom and burst into laughter and i told keith “hurry come see!!” it was hysterical. keith joked that the only thing holding her in bed was static electricity…. i carefully moved her back and kissed her goodnight…

our sweet little girl is getting so big. she is 38″ tall and could easily pass for a 4 year old. she is in size 4t pants, although they can be a bit baggy in the bum. she has got legs for days, but still insists on walking on her tiptoes…

c’s favorite color today is white. her bedroom is still 100 different colors because being the indecisive person that i am, i still can’t pick one. when you ask her what color she wants her room she always say WHITE. that’s what color it started as. hysterical.

we {keith} is helping c kick the pacifier habit again. she has now successfully slept without it 2 nights in a row. she doesn’t really even ask for it anymore and this morning she told me “i don’t need a daffy, i a big girl, i growin up” to which i made a sad face and she replied “don’t worry i still your baby doll mama”

{heart melted.}

cordelia sending pacifier to elmo

breaking up is hard to do.

i finally made the choice, today is the day, i told myself. today is the day that i would be giving up the daffy {pacifier}, entirely. it wasn’t an easy decision. i fight with this one constantly. the daffy is pretty much the only thing left of my little, bitty baby, but i know she is ready and i guess i am too.

so, we searched the entire house for all of her daffy’s, put them in a box, wrapped the box and addressed it to elmo. {her friend, elmo, would be giving her daffy’s to little babies that need them.}

c was totally into the game this morning. eagerly searching through the house “i found one!” she put them all in the box, had one last suck and that was that. i wrapped the box and addressed it. i asked c where elmo lives and she quickly replied “elmo’s world!” so, off to elmo’s world they went. it was all fine and dandy until nap time…

poor baby cordelia, she has been carrying on for 30 minutees. i finally told her i would try to go find one. i found one {that i had cut the tip off} and gave it to her. she looked at me in horror, “BUT THIS ONE IS BROKEN!!!!! IT’S RUINED!!!!” she said between sobs.

my heart ached. why did i decide to do this today? i kept telling her she is so big and strong and that she can do this… she just looked at me with those big blue eyes welled up with tears and yelled, “BUT IT’S RUINED!”

awful.

i finally got her calmed down enough to read a few books… then more tears. then, keith came up and she insisted that he put her for a nap, so i said okay. i am pretty sure she thought he would give in, but he didn’t… he hasn’t come down yet, but all is quiet up there, so i guess it is going okay.

i will keep you posted on the status of “breaking up with daffy.” this is pretty much the hardest thing i have ever done. it just breaks my heart to see her so upset. i just took her world and turned it upside down. :/

in other news. this child is the cutest damn thing i have ever met. i know i say this all the time, but i just want her to stay THIS age. she is so incredibly sweet and lovable. she is talking up a storm and in full sentences. her new favorite thing to say is “what?!” “what you just say?!” it’s pretty funny because i know she got that from keith and i.

it has been a fun summer so far. she has been swimming a lot and at night we go to the skatepark and she rides with keith on his bmx bike. she loves it!

{it is so magical to watch this little girl grow. she has us completely smitten and we wouldn’t have it any other way}

xoxo

{24 hour update: bedtime didn’t go as well as we had hoped it would… she was so upset and apparently wrapped so tightly around both of our fingers that we couldn’t listen to her cry anymore. i went up there and gave her a daffy. she looked at me like i was her saving grace. she stood up, threw her arms around me and started crying harder. so incredibly sweet. keith and i decided she is definitely still our little baby. we will try again when she is 3.}

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Pirate

every day when c comes home from school she has a small slip of paper that lets me know how her day was. It says what she ate, how she slept, and usually a little synopsis. This was today’s:

“Cordelia had so much fun in Apple Red today! During outside playtime cordelia was running On the playground with her friends! Her hair bow fell off her head and was hanging on her face; so she told her teachers “it’s ok, I’ll just be a pirate!!” [because it was hanging over her eye like an eye patch]

I die. I can’t even make this stuff up.

cordelia

cordelia has been so sweet, as always. she is saying the funniest stuff lately. 

“oh i have a great idea!!!! mama it’s yor birfday!!!”

“you my best frend”

“no, no, i don’t like that”

“no don’t hit your friends! you gettin a time out!”

“ohhhhh this is so so tasty!”

“come on guys! let’s dance!”

“mama where i doughing today?”

“i so sick, i just so sick” 

“mama i need a snacckkk”

oh and while you are here, why not head over to the Parents Magazine Photo Contest and vote for Cordelia! Someone needs to send this girl to college LOL! You can vote once per day and if you could please help us out that would be fabulous!!

xo