cordelia sending pacifier to elmo

breaking up is hard to do.

i finally made the choice, today is the day, i told myself. today is the day that i would be giving up the daffy {pacifier}, entirely. it wasn’t an easy decision. i fight with this one constantly. the daffy is pretty much the only thing left of my little, bitty baby, but i know she is ready and i guess i am too.

so, we searched the entire house for all of her daffy’s, put them in a box, wrapped the box and addressed it to elmo. {her friend, elmo, would be giving her daffy’s to little babies that need them.}

c was totally into the game this morning. eagerly searching through the house “i found one!” she put them all in the box, had one last suck and that was that. i wrapped the box and addressed it. i asked c where elmo lives and she quickly replied “elmo’s world!” so, off to elmo’s world they went. it was all fine and dandy until nap time…

poor baby cordelia, she has been carrying on for 30 minutees. i finally told her i would try to go find one. i found one {that i had cut the tip off} and gave it to her. she looked at me in horror, “BUT THIS ONE IS BROKEN!!!!! IT’S RUINED!!!!” she said between sobs.

my heart ached. why did i decide to do this today? i kept telling her she is so big and strong and that she can do this… she just looked at me with those big blue eyes welled up with tears and yelled, “BUT IT’S RUINED!”


i finally got her calmed down enough to read a few books… then more tears. then, keith came up and she insisted that he put her for a nap, so i said okay. i am pretty sure she thought he would give in, but he didn’t… he hasn’t come down yet, but all is quiet up there, so i guess it is going okay.

i will keep you posted on the status of “breaking up with daffy.” this is pretty much the hardest thing i have ever done. it just breaks my heart to see her so upset. i just took her world and turned it upside down. :/

in other news. this child is the cutest damn thing i have ever met. i know i say this all the time, but i just want her to stay THIS age. she is so incredibly sweet and lovable. she is talking up a storm and in full sentences. her new favorite thing to say is “what?!” “what you just say?!” it’s pretty funny because i know she got that from keith and i.

it has been a fun summer so far. she has been swimming a lot and at night we go to the skatepark and she rides with keith on his bmx bike. she loves it!

{it is so magical to watch this little girl grow. she has us completely smitten and we wouldn’t have it any other way}


{24 hour update: bedtime didn’t go as well as we had hoped it would… she was so upset and apparently wrapped so tightly around both of our fingers that we couldn’t listen to her cry anymore. i went up there and gave her a daffy. she looked at me like i was her saving grace. she stood up, threw her arms around me and started crying harder. so incredibly sweet. keith and i decided she is definitely still our little baby. we will try again when she is 3.}



2 thoughts on “breaking up is hard to do.

  1. April says:

    Awww, reading this broke my heart! Sad to say, but the heartache gets worse. Wait until the first child excludes her or mistreats her. It’s so difficult to know when the time is right for something, to follow your gut and go against all the “expert” advice and embrace the fact that YOU alone are the expert on your child. She will do all things in the time that’s right for her. I commend you and Keith for following her lead. My son wore sleepy diapers until he was almost seven! Everyone, and I mean, EVERYONE thought he was too old! But you know what? One night he took it off, said he only wore them because he was too tired to crawl out of his loft bed and pee and he never looked back. He had one accident ever. You and Keith are such rad parents! Cordelia is one lucky little girl! And, I don’t need to tell you how lucky you both are because you so obviously already know!

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